


if i could choose it would be you

by orphan_account



Category: All American (TV)
Genre: Cheating, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Hook-Up, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kissing, Love Triangles, Mutual Pining, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: And Olivia was so conflicted because she knows that although she should be feeling guilty, which she is, undoubtedly, there’s also a feeling of invigorating indulgence at their deceitful action.—olivia struggles with her guilt after harboring a secret between her and spencer.
Relationships: Olivia Baker & Spencer James, Olivia Baker/Spencer James
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	if i could choose it would be you

**Author's Note:**

> i’m here for the spelivia cheating storyline. although it’s just speculation caused by the fandom at the moment, it would be interesting to see how that would play out on the show. it’d give the show the angst and love triangle drama that i want to see, just like all the other teen shows have given me. i usually hate love triangles, but with spelivia i want to see it play out so badly!!!

She’s perched outside at the lunch table, her tray that consisted of a salad was left untouched as she absentmindedly prodded at the food with her fork, a sullen frown wans her face as she realizes that her appetite was nonexistent at the moment. 

“Not hungry?” Someone catechizes in curiosity, the familiar tone of the person’s voice causes Olivia to lift her head so that she could meet their gaze, a feeble smile settles upon her lips when she looks up to see Jordan and Simone standing athwart from him.   
  
Simone amicably greets her, bringing a hand up in a small wave before sliding in the seat. Olivia returns the gesture, giving them both another small smile as she watched them sit down at the table joining her.   
  
“So, what’s up with you? I feel like I’ve barely seen you all day.” Jordan posits, unraveling the tortilla shell of his chicken wrap as he grabs the small container of ranch and lathered the wrap with the creamy condiment. 

Olivia pushed her untouched food aside before somberly nodding her head. It’s true, she had been avoiding everyone all day, trying desperately not to make herself too visible in their sight. The people that she was avoiding the most were Layla and Asher. 

She adamantly vied to keep her distance from them as she knows that facing them would only make things difficult than they already were. 

Unfortunately for her, she had two classes with Layla––in which she blatantly chose a seat far away from her best friend, opting for a seat in the front instead much to Layla’s perplexity who tilted a confused head at Olivia when she bolted to the other side of the room. 

She knows that she isn’t doing much of a good job by acting subtle or discreet about the secret that’s been torturing and looming over her since the summer, but the guilt was gnawing away at her, making her feel worse every time she looked at Layla and Asher. 

Olivia knew that she couldn’t tell them about the events that occurred between her and Spencer over the summer, they agreed to keep their infidelity about their salacious trysts a secret from their partners to avoid drama and more importantly, hurting their feelings even more so than they already did. 

But it was getting more and more difficult trying to pretend that everything was okay, like she didn’t betray Layla–– _again_ by hooking up with her boyfriend. 

At first, Olivia justified her actions in attempts of redeeming herself. She thought that since she liked Spencer way before Layla even slyly intercepted and won over his affections, that maybe what she did wasn’t _so_ bad. She realized how idiotic that reason was as soon as it appeared in her brain. Then she thought that maybe Layla knew all along that she still had residual feelings for Spencer albeit being with Asher. But that reasoning itself only made Olivia realize how worse it sounded.   
  
No matter how she looked at it or tried to come with a reason to absolve her of her traitorous infidelity, in the end nothing worked. Because what she did, what _they_ did was wrong. 

And Olivia was so conflicted because she knows that although she should be feeling guilty, which she is, undoubtedly, there’s also a feeling of invigorating indulgence at their deceitful action. 

She remembered every detail vividly from that night; how soft and slick his skin felt against hers, how a shiver rolled down her spine in avidity when he kissed hungrily at her neck and raffishly teased his hand above the waistband of her jeans, how plaint and insistent his ravenous kisses were, how they left her completely breathless and wanting more, how he murmured soft appraisals against her lips, how she succumbed to his onslaught when he reached a hand up and gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. 

Everything, every detail of his body; from his scars that he received from years of playing football to the mole behind his left earlobe, every word that he whispered to her, softly, and reassuring, every soft kiss that he pecked against her lips and the way her name rolled off of his tongue in a softy hymn was embedded into her memory. 

The first time Asher kissed her back after his return from a summer abroad with his mother, all Olivia could think about was the heated kisses that she shared with Spencer weeks prior. The guilt began to eat away at her again so she avoided kissing Asher, which only pained her even more when she would see the hurt look on his face whenever she rejected each of his kisses. 

“I know, it’s just–” She shrugs, biting down on her bottom lip. “Been a busy day I guess. The first days always kinda hectic for me.” She responds in a fib. The lie is so pathetic and unbelievable that she’s surprised that Jordan doesn’t further prod her of any inquiries. 

He only nods before taking a large bite out of the crispy chicken wrap. “What’s your schedule looking like? Any classes with anyone we know?” 

“Yeah, I have one with Layla and two with Simone.” She answers, giving Simone a small smile as she looks up at her.

She’d grown closer to his brother’s girlfriend over the summer. Simone had spent a great duration of the time over at their place with Jordan. Whenever he was at the gym or getting in a few hours of practice, they would spend some time together.   
  
“Yep, AP Calculus and Computer Science.” Simone inputs, in between bites of her sub sandwich. 

Olivia’s eyes widened in aghast when she looks and sees Asher approaching. Jordan, upon noticing the aloof change in his sister’s demeanor and behavior furrowed a confused brow together. 

“You okay, Liv?” He turned around, glancing over his shoulder to see what had caught her attention. He brings his hand up mid-air, gesturing for Asher to join them. “Yo, Ash!” 

Olivia inwardly chastised her brother.   
  
Asher’s gaze flickered from Jordan who he greeted with a brief head nod, to Olivia. He walks around the table and slides in the seat next to her. 

Olivia turns her head away from Asher, looking directly at the flimsy leafs of her salad in attempts of avoiding his smothering gaze. 

“Liv?” She hears him call out. Usually, she liked the way he uttered her nickname with adulation marring heavily in his tone. Hearing it today made her feel the complete opposite. 

“I uh, forgot that I was supposed to talk to Ms. Whitley about an extra credit assignment.” She says, hurriedly clambering to her feet and gathering her things together. 

“It’s the first day. Why would you need extra credit?” Asher questioned accusatorially, wondering why she’d been acting so strange since his return back home a few days ago.

She’s been blatantly avoiding him, hasn’t touched or kissed him and won’t even look him in the eyes. It’s like she was hiding something from him but he didn’t know what. What he did know was that it pained him seeing his girlfriend acting so distant and strange towards him. 

Olivia hastily scrambled her things together, grabbing her lunch tray and disposing of her food. She bidded everyone at the table with a parting farewell, ignoring their confused glares along with Asher’s pained look of perplexity. 

She couldn’t do this. The guilt was eating at her, nearly consuming her whole. But then again she knows that if anyone ever found out; specifically Layla and/or Asher that they’d never forgive her. 

It was different when she started dating Asher––truthfully, Olivia believes that Asher and Layla weren’t in love with each other which is why she was so accepting of their dating. They had just been together for social purposes; he was the jock and she was Beverly High’s princess. They fit well together on paper but in actuality, the love was a facade. Which was why she was upset for only a brief moment when she found out about Olivia and Asher’s inebriated hookup. 

This situation however was _totally_ different. 

Layla’s feelings for Spencer had been real. She had grown fond and a sense of adulation of him upon getting to know him. Everyone could see the substantial differences in her relationship with Spencer compared to her prior one with Asher.   
  
She loved and cared for Spencer, which is why what they did would absolutely _kill_ Layla if she ever found out. 

Everyone knew about Olivia’s secret feelings that she harbored for Spencer, especially Layla and Asher who’d both vehemently called her out on it numerous times. She assured them both once he and Layla started dating that those feelings had demised. She was with Asher. Spencer had Layla; who he appeared to like a lot so Olivia lost all hope of anything ever happening between them. 

They looked happy together and she didn’t want to ruin or interfere with her friend’s happiness over a guy like she did with Asher. 

She felt so incredibly guilty when she started dating Asher while Layla was in rehab. This was worse, _way_ worse.

Albeit she told herself and others that her feelings for Spencer had diminished, it had been a blatant lie. She tried so hard not to think about him or imagine what it would be like to kiss him instead of Asher, or having him hug and console her in a comforting way instead of him doing that to Layla. 

She tried so _so_ hard but failed every time. 

He made it difficult for her. Spencer was just this understanding, loving, caring, wholesome, amazing guy that had been with her through everything. He understood her in ways that others couldn’t, she could confide in him about any and everything, he made her feel safe, loved. 

Olivia fought determinedly against her feelings for him, but it was of no use. Each time she tried to deny them, her feelings for him only increased. 

What makes this worse than her infidelity with Asher? Part of Layla and Asher knows that Olivia’s feelings for Spencer hadn’t resided. They only believed her when she said they did for their sakes, hoping that somewhere down the line, they actually would go away. But they know how close she and Spencer are and living with each other under the same roof only heightened their insecurities. 

Olivia was always assuring Asher that he had nothing to worry about. She told Layla that she was happy for her and Spencer. 

It wasn’t a lie but it also wasn’t the whole truth.   
  
Everything just felt so confusing right now, she needed to get away. Walking back inside of the school building, Olivia walked down the hall cautiously peering around corners and glancing over her shoulders, weary of running into Layla. That was the last person she needed to see. Or so she thought. 

As she was rounding the corner heading towards the library so that she could hide away in there for the duration of the lunch period, Olivia inadvertently stumbled into someone. Her attention was too focused on making sure that she didn’t run into Layla that she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. 

“Woah!” 

She ran into the person’s chest, her balance unsteady as she nearly tripped over her feet and tumbled onto the ground. The person reached out quickly, reflexes in tact as he grabbed ahold of her and steadied her in place saving her from the fall. 

“Thank you.” She says, cheeks flushing and burning in chagrin when she pulled back and looked up to see who her savior was.   
  
“You okay?” He asked, worry lilting heavily in his voice as his eyes wandered over her, assuaging in reassurance. 

Olivia harrumphed, nodding her head as she removes herself from his embrace. Her arms fold beneath her chest as she averts her gaze to the tiled floors. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lie. 

She peers at him underneath her eyelashes to see him nodding his head. His hands slide in the front pockets of his jeans. 

“I-how’ve you been? I mean, is everything...” He stammered, unable to get a coherent sentence out. He looked just as sheepish and guilt ridden as she did. “Liv.” He says softly, the words rolling off of his tongue in a soft murmur and she tries to ignore the flashbacks that begins to appear in her brain.   
  
He said her name like that in the same exact way when they were in her bedroom, his hands resting on her waist, tugging her closer to that their bodies were chiseled and flushed up against each other’s. The way he looked down into her eyes, gaze smoldering and unwavering made her toes curl and her body throng with vim. 

No. _No_! She inwardly reprimands herself, shaking those thoughts out of her reverie. She can’t do this. It was wrong. And while they had already steered way past the point of no return, the least she could do was not relish in the memory of her and her best friend’s boyfriend’s salacious tryst. 

“I’m sorry, I know––” 

He begins, but is immediately interrupted by Olivia as she shakes her head and takes a small steps towards him. “Not here and not now.” She whispered, looking around the school hallway still cautious of Layla or Asher seeing them together. She turns back to look at Spencer, her eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be at school?” 

He nods, shrugging a shoulder. “I had a free period. I missed Crenshaw while I was here, but now that I’m back I miss being here too.” 

“You took three buses back over here just because you missed Beverly?”   
  
His eyes wander over towards her again; staring intently at her with the same smothering warmth and sincerity that he did on _that_ night. It makes her knees buckle and nearly give in beneath her. 

“I missed Beverly and other things as well.”  
  
She could feel his eyes, the intensity of his gaze breathing her in. It makes her squirm under his stare. 

“Spencer?” Both of their heads turn in unison at the excited squeal of someone calling out his name. They see that it’s Layla, confusion and surprise marring the features of her face as she begins to approach. 

Olivia’s eyes widened as she takes a few steps away from Spencer, furthering the distance between them. 

He gives her a sombering, melancholy look as Layla practically skipped over to him and jumped into his arms. She giggles as she wrapped her arms around his heightened neck and pressed a kiss against his cheek. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” She asked, arms still wrapped around his neck. 

Spencer’s eyes lingered over to Olivia, holding her gaze for a quick second before hastily flickering back to Layla. “I missed you guys so I decided to come see you.” 

Olivia couldn’t stand here anymore; not only did this feel a little intrusive, she was still battling her residing guilt that was prodding away at her. The last thing she needed was Layla interrogating her of her recent endeavors or whereabouts because she was an awful liar and would probably end up telling her the truth of what happened, which she deserved to know, but Olivia didn’t want to risk losing her best friend.   
  
Just as she turns around to walk away, she hears Layla calling out her name. She curses lowly under her breath as she turned back around.   
  
“I missed you guys over the summer. Being away with my dad and Coop on tour was fun, but I feel like I missed out on a lot. So I was thinking that maybe we could all hang out together? We could invite Simone and Jordan too, make it like a couples night or something.” 

She wants so badly to reject the offer. Being in the same room with Layla and Asher _and_ Spencer sounded horrendous and a nightmare waiting to happen. But apart of her knows that if she continued with her suspicious behavior and avoiding them, they would begin to eventually inquiry their own suspicions about why she’s been acting so strangely.

Besides, if she was being truthful she did miss Layla as well.

“Yeah we can do that.” She agrees, smiling softly in return as she watched a wide smile spread across Layla’s own face.   
  
“Great. I’ll text everyone later for the details.”   
  
Olivia only nods in confirmation, giving her friend one last smile before walking away. All she could think about was how much she hopes this night wouldn’t turn out as disastrous as she’s presuming it to be.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> i was going to include a part of their hookup in a flashback but i couldn’t find a placement of it in this story so i might just write the flashback of their hookup a separate story all in its own.


End file.
